Page CXVI - Hymns I

Page CXVI - Hymns II

God is doing Great things

. . . for I am a new creation. . .

For so long I was stuck carrying the old man, told all my desires were sinful and that I needed to stop doing what I desired and start doing what God desired. That created an ever ragging and losing battle in me. John Piper also felt this way as a young man and he said what if my desires and God's will could just be meet and be one. That would change everything. And so it has for He replace our hearts of stone and gave us hearts of flesh! He called a people who were not a people to be His people. He gave us everything pertaining to life and godliness. He has seated us in the heavenly places where Christ is. He has made all things new in HIM! Yes it's true! And this truth certainly sets free!!!

So . . . God is doing great things. . . this was my Facebook status of the day. A dear friend asked me to share with her what God is doing :) gladly I rejoiced as I typed out this story. . .

What a coincidence! The Lord brought you to mind the other day and I prayed that things would be well with you! Praise God! So happy to hear from you!!!

:) I was certainly overwhelmed by God and what HE is doing :) today. And within an hour after writing that two more great things happened that were incredible! And more later in the day! All praise and glory to Whom it is due! So here goes. . .

On Wednesday night I finally got a girl to come to High School group. Do you remember meeting Ana - she was about 13 when I first met her in the first Upland Campaign and she prayed to receive Christ and came to church pretty regularly with me and I did bible study with her for a while and then she just lost interest and then she told me somehow I had found out and she confessed to me that she lost her virginity, well I shared the gospel with her again. And she's just one of those people that is quiet and shows no emotion and doesn't open up. So I never new for sure the state of her soul. Well after youth group I took her home and said tomorrow I am picking you up and we're going to the mall because I need to run an errand. I thought I am going to pick up where I left off with her and just begin to be her friend and attempt life on life discipleship. WOW! God had a huge surprise for me - He's changed ME so much - that I was just able to enjoy being with her and talking to her as if she were my pier and my friend and wow - she really felt loved and comfortable with me and this is truly a miracle as I sit here and think and write about it - because she has been so distant for so so so long. Wow God is amazing. She even said I don't want to leave, by the end of the night and is excited about reading a book on anger, which she really struggles with.

Besides that the Lord is suddenly blessing the Hope Ave. ministry - which is non-existent as far as our saturday times with the kids - but is now getting the kids more desirous to come to church and AWANA! Praise God. I knew He wasn't done there yet. Jennifer Yan was the leader of that ministry and when she left to plant Summit Bible church, we all kinda felt like letting the ministry go. But in my heart I knew it wasn't time to walk away from the people there. Anyway, I wait upon the Lord asking that He would save souls there.

Also a girl I had discipled shortly after she accepted Christ had seemed to turn away from God for a time and closed contact with me - I found out that she is now attending a church and in love with God and going on a missions trip in October! WOW!

Another girl I discipled who is just lets say more of the world and confident and beautiful than I am - I hadn't been talking to alot and also fell into immorality with her Christian boyfriend - I got an SOS message from her today and she just is longing to be apart from the world and nearer to good Christian girl fellowship! Wow! God is moving in her heart! Praise Him! I am praying for her and hoping to go to visit her in Carlsbad soon.

Then my boss gave me the ok for vacation days in November to go to Mexico ON MY FIRST MISSIONS TRIP IN FOUR YEARS!!! God is so so so so good and un-expectedly answered the prayer of longing to be back on the mission field!!! I can't believe it!!!! Oh my gosh!!! I am so so so so excited!!!

I am praying so much for a humble heart - because I see my pride so much from moment to moment. And as I was sitting at work today thinking why am I hear why can't I be in full time ministry like the other 26 year old girl that is in Campus Crusade for Christ that doesn't have to go to work - just went from college to full time ministry - or the other 23 year old girl who is doing the same thing or my own roomate - hard not to be jealous of these. But Pastor Dave reminded us recently of what CJ Mahaney or someone else said in one of the few books written on humility - humility is remembering I am not God - so those words suddenly came to me while I was sitting at my desk at work and I put them together like this:
I am not God and His ways are higher than my ways.

And just an hour ago as I was struggling again with the decision of whether to keep supporting some missionaries including my roommate - the Lord humbled me by reminding me that I deserve nothing I have - indeed if it were up to me I would have lost all that I have - and to show grace and be a good steward of what I have and to walk by faith. I really need to show more grace and stop being a judgmental hypocrite. Ugh! I hate this in me, but find hope as I confess it to you that God will not leave me here.

I get so jealous so often of people because they're skinny or have a better education or are working at their dream job or don't work or have so much more fun than me - but I hate that, because at the end of the day I love who I am in Christ, how close God has and is bringing me to himself and I love the heart of Christ that everyone sees in me - at the end of the day I wouldn't trade that for ANYTHING - but I still hate who I am sometimes - the sin that is so prevelent. I beg for Him to humble me - to remind me that there but for the grace of God go I - not just in knowledge but with emotions that make me feel compassion for others - like Jonathan Edwards who said in one of his resolutions that he wishes to feel every sin that someone confesses to him as though it were his own and he had broken God's heart in that way. Now that is humility and really believing - there but for the grace of God go I. I can remember a time when I felt this.

I can also remember a time when I felt childlike faith to say I will go to the ends of the Earth - true faith that believed God will give me the grace strength and words to do this. And I will go because You gave all. Now I still want to go, but with much more fear and trembling.

I turned this response into more of a blog post - that's what I have in mind now - to post this on my blog, because I started it 1 or 2 years ago -can't even remember, because I've been avoiding it for so long. It was originally set up to share about things God was doing ministry wise in my life and of course I'd share what God was doing in my heart too. But earlier this year God - in a sense slapped me in the face - through John Piper I think it was who said some people rejoice in the experiences God gives them rather than in God Himself. That's the point to where I came - I was glorying in myself through all the Lord was doing and allowing me to see and take part in His work. I now am more cautious about what or how I share what God is doing and have found a quiet place in the background. I have some behind the scenes ministries which God is blessing me in. I love being loud in my love for Christ and others and don't mind if people see Him and glorify Him when they see Him in me - It's just a hard balance to keep when people are constantly telling you how good you are, but God reminds me or rather my sin reminds me I'm no one - just a vessel for Him.

God is certainly doing Great things and I could go on. But to whom much is given much is required and I have certainly been given much. <3 <3 <3 You are one of my much-es :) I love you! Please do share what God is doing up in your neck of the woods - be as elaborate as you want - because my intention with the blog was that these stories would so encourage their readers - it is such and encouragement to hear how God is moving, especially in times when we don't see him moving - as I did a month ago. . . little did I know. . . He was preparing Great things. . . and greater things are yet to come! Amen?!

Oh and I almost forgot . . . things are amazingly 180 degrees better with my family. There is a love joy and peace like never before. And if there is such things as being close to the gospel, my dad is closer than ever before!

Lord please save by Your grace and kindness to the praise of Your Glorious Grace!