A sporadic record of my journey. Why? Hopefully and ultimately to bring Him glory. As Paul Washer said He gets the most glory by freely giving to the most undeserving. So this is an open record of my heart. Ugly as it is, it's the truth. But as we see God's faithfulness and mercy and grace (simultaneously), slowly but surely we'll see Him bringing Himself glory through a most unworthy vessel.
Thank you so much for posting this! When I saw the verses from Psalm 37, I had to laugh; that's the psalm I'm working on memorizing! When something like that happens, you know the Lord is working. I didn't read the whole article, but envying others their walk with the Lord is something I've struggled with, especially when I wasn't following the Lord fully. I had a pen-pal, and even when she wasn't meaning to write about it, I could see her growing in the Lord so clearly through her letters. I didn't have that, and I wasn't even good at pretending I did. How I envied her that love for the Lord, and that walk with Him! It was completely my own fault that I didn't have it; I wasn't willing to do what the Lord was asking me to do -- go back and make things right that I'd done in the past -- and the Lord couldn't grow me until I was willing to let Him. As soon as I let Him, the Lord gave me that joy that comes with surrender to Him, but envy is still a temptation. I don't have a voice to praise the Lord singing the way others do; I don't have the mind to grasp and understand concepts the way others do; I don't have the love of a husband the way others do -- but what I do have eclipses all those completely. I have the love of my Savior, Jesus Christ; I was custom-designed to be His bride! He could have made me any way He wanted His bride to be, and He chose to make me just as I am. That is my trump card against envy -- knowing that the Lord made me as I am for Himself, and He has me right where He wants me. That doesn't mean I don't struggle anymore; it just means I have the Lord to go to, and He is always there! May God give you His grace and joy as you follow Him; love you, Jennifer!
Dear Sister Emily, How much I am like you! This was something I struggled with too. I often envy you, because I love you love for our Lord and your sensitivity to sin and your continued desire and discipline to love unbelievers around you and make the most of every opportunity to be a fragrant aroma of life in Christ.
What a wonderful answer God has given us. His Sovereignty is a wonderful and blessed truth. He has made us exactly as He desires and brings us to where we are and where we'll be in His time! How great is our God!
2 comments:
Dear Jennifer,
Thank you so much for posting this! When I saw the verses from Psalm 37, I had to laugh; that's the psalm I'm working on memorizing! When something like that happens, you know the Lord is working. I didn't read the whole article, but envying others their walk with the Lord is something I've struggled with, especially when I wasn't following the Lord fully. I had a pen-pal, and even when she wasn't meaning to write about it, I could see her growing in the Lord so clearly through her letters. I didn't have that, and I wasn't even good at pretending I did. How I envied her that love for the Lord, and that walk with Him! It was completely my own fault that I didn't have it; I wasn't willing to do what the Lord was asking me to do -- go back and make things right that I'd done in the past -- and the Lord couldn't grow me until I was willing to let Him. As soon as I let Him, the Lord gave me that joy that comes with surrender to Him, but envy is still a temptation. I don't have a voice to praise the Lord singing the way others do; I don't have the mind to grasp and understand concepts the way others do; I don't have the love of a husband the way others do -- but what I do have eclipses all those completely. I have the love of my Savior, Jesus Christ; I was custom-designed to be His bride! He could have made me any way He wanted His bride to be, and He chose to make me just as I am. That is my trump card against envy -- knowing that the Lord made me as I am for Himself, and He has me right where He wants me. That doesn't mean I don't struggle anymore; it just means I have the Lord to go to, and He is always there!
May God give you His grace and joy as you follow Him; love you, Jennifer!
In His service,
Emily
Dear Sister Emily,
How much I am like you! This was something I struggled with too. I often envy you, because I love you love for our Lord and your sensitivity to sin and your continued desire and discipline to love unbelievers around you and make the most of every opportunity to be a fragrant aroma of life in Christ.
What a wonderful answer God has given us. His Sovereignty is a wonderful and blessed truth. He has made us exactly as He desires and brings us to where we are and where we'll be in His time! How great is our God!
Love you sister,
Jennifer
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