Self righteousness. The oxymoron of all oxymoron's. I have no good in myself, and any I may try to create is only filthy rags.
It's not the first time the Lord has graciously opened my eyes to this. Perhaps a year ago I read through this passage... and saw myself therein...
Matthew 23
23 "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others. 24You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!
25 "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean.
27 "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. 28So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
Graciously God is still working on me. The hard part is the discernment... when do I lovingly desire to reprove rebuke or exhort and when am I, as CJ Mahaney wrote 'self righteously imposing my personal preferences on others' and I add jealously envying the frivolous way they spend money.
Oh Lord have mercy on me the sinner. How gracious and patient you are - unfathomable how much forbearance you chose to have by sending your Son to die a grueling death for it. Great, great, great is your love for the world. Graciously some will escape the day of wrath to come and not just escape that but to enter into eternal pleasure in the presence of the Almighty God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. All of us sit under His love now, but one day many will parish forever to endure His righteous wrath, the only righteous wrath.
1 comment:
Dear Jennifer,
Thank you for this! The Lord has been showing me my heart as well, and the selfishness and weakness that is there is frightening. I remember one day, when I had made a thorough mess of things (not the first time, either!) and I went to the bedroom feeling like the Lord would have to give up on me eventually -- I couldn't keep that closeness of fellowship with Him forever when I kept failing like that -- and I got on my knees and just said, "Lord, I've done it again; it's just not fair for You to forgive me again." And He said, "It's not you; it's never been you; it's always been for Christ, because of what He did, just as much now as the first time you came to Me." That was such a joy! He doesn't forgive me because of me, but because of what Jesus did, and that doesn't change. I want so much to please Him; nothing I can do can ever come close to the love and kindness that He shows me so freely and so faithfully. I praise Him that He is guiding and molding both of us to be more like Him; may He bless you with His love and grace this year. Love you so much, Jennifer!
In His service,
Emily
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