I don't want to Forget

This past Sunday my little sister, Jacquelyn (16), was baptized. Her seemingly insurmountable fear of speaking in front of 400 people, she overcame. She could not resist her Lord calling her to obedience any longer. She was even given the opportunity to do it in front of a small group of her selected peers, but instead chose for herself to do it before all the congregation of our church.

For the three weeks leading up to it, it was all she could think about. Nerves were her best friend, along with sweaty palms, even that morning before we left the house when she said "I don't want to do it" to which I did not reply, because I knew she would. No amount of prayer from the night before, to moments before, would calm that shaking girl. I thought about this. Why didn't the Lord calm her anxieties (as Philippians 4:6-7 says)? All the more glory to Him for us to know His strength in her weakness. Even thought we're terrified He will still be glorified.

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God's faithfulness, providence, patients and loving kindness was revealed in a stunning way immediately after this act of obedience.

On Sunday my parents came to witness my sister's baptism. God had prepared the gospel for them. Yes, many of you heard it... Romans 10:9-10... "Gospel Clarity" - that was the sermon Pastor David prepared that day! We are not worthy... what is man that God should be mindful of him? Yet He chooses to reveal Himself over and over So for an hour we listen to the gospel preached with beautiful eloquence and clarity from Pastor David.

Then after service we were surrounded by faithful brothers and sisters meeting and talking with our parents... and I know the rest of you were watching and praying out of love for us... of which I feel so unworthy! I am so thankful for you.

Then my parents were invited to lunch by the Ottrandos with Leif Jensen and the Rios family. This was something Jackie and I always hoped for, because if the gospel does not take root and grow immediately then you must have a relationship to carry on the seeds. After two hours of conversation with my mom and dad, which was a miracle in itself, to see my parents that comfortable with people they have not known long, the faithfulness of a man who loves God, spoke up and said "I cannot leave today without telling you the reason for all of this." Tom Rios then proceeded to tell the gospel in a beautiful fashion.

Immediately tears ran down my face, and for the next hour no one could stop them. My first thoughts were I can't believe this is happening. If I had not been in a state of surreal-ness since the night before Jackie's baptism and that morning during service, I was certainly in one now. Again who is man that God should be mindful of him? I am not worthy. I felt the beauty of proclaiming the good news unlike I'd ever felt in my whole entire life. Getting to sit at a table and hear the gospel being preached to the man you love most... there were no words only uncontrolled tears, yes for an hour, in which God used all three men, Tom, Louis and Leif, to say exactly what needed to be said. Issues of the past that needed to be reconciled were explained... I am not worthy. What is man?

I have shared the gospel with my dad, what feels like countless times now. So something in your spirit just knows that today there will be no communion of spirit found within. So the tears turned to sadness.

My crying turned to weeping when it was all over and I turned to thank these men for what they had done.

My parents left. I stayed. On the car ride back to church with the Ottrandos the tears and thinking proceeded. Satan was looking for an in. I don't know how he got it, but he did. He took my joy. A truly awesome thing had just occurred, one worthy of rejoicing over for a long time, but he got me. Many of my brothers and sister saw me and prayed for me that evening, I am not worthy.

The attack and call back to the mud was short lived. I had to reconcile the events of that day, which was prevented till nightfall. By that night it was over, another victory, another lesson in trust. This is what I came to... That morning in service as I sat next to my father hearing the gospel in a frozen state, I asked myself what I was expecting. That evening I finally realized I needed and wanted to see in him a surrender to God... I instantly thought "I need to surrender." I must trust Him and desire His glory above all else.

What happened today? God revealed Himself to my father. What is man? God is gracious. He gave him yet another opportunity to see Him. It was God's loving kindness that moved in Jacquelyn's heart to obey and come to the waters of baptism that day that would bring my dad to church that day. God is Love. He is patient, He is kind. And if He foreknew him, He will call him, He will justify him, He will sanctify him and He will glorify him.